So here we are at the end of summer with senior year about to start in 2 weeks, I can scarcely believe it. The world keeps spinning no matter how much you try to slow it down. This summer has been... incredible. In my blog post back in January, I said that 2015 was going to be a year of dreams and I was right, I have learned so much about what I truly want out of life. And what I am willing to do to accomplish those dreams.
I had the most wonderful internship this summer at the RoArk Group, I knew I was going to learn a lot but I didn't know just how much I would learn about myself in the process. The first few days I was a little unsure of myself and my ability to do the job. I had to remind myself that I am a good designer and I am hard worker and just to let go and let God. And the rest will fall into place and it did. I grew in confidence in myself and my ability on the job. I am more convinced now that ever that I am on the right path and that I am pursuing what I love. I met some really wonderful people and learned so much about working for a company especially in the field of printing and design. I admit I had doubts along the way during my college years that I had what it took to be a graphic designer in the real world and those doubts are gone. Such a freeing feeling to have that feeling of being at peace.
So now I look forward to school starting with an ease and a touch of excitement, it will be a good year. My last year. But it will be a good year. I am so close to achieving what I set out to do.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
The very verse that has echoed in my head and my heart since setting out on this path 4 years ago. This is what has kept me going, knowing that at the end of it all.. It will be worth every heartache, every tear and every struggle. That dream is finally in reach and it will be better than I ever imagined.
Til next time
Savanna
Monday, August 17, 2015
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Choice
I've had a bad case of insomnia the past few days. My body is tired but my mind is racing through a million things at once, mostly about the future and reflecting on my past. My third year of college is complete and I have one more year to go. The entire idea is simply unfathomable to me. Wasn't it just yesterday I was making the decision to attend Missouri Western? Wasn't it just simply a day ago when I decided to put my life back together after being destroyed? It was just a moment ago that I swore not to let depression strip away what joy I had in my life.
No, it was 3 years ago. 3 years.. how things have changed. How I have changed. They say people can't truly change, that they just simply reveal their true colors. I don't think that is wholly correct. I think people have a choice. A choice to be who they want to be, how they choose to act and react to life happening. You choose to change. You can choose to love and you can choose to hate. It boils down to a simple choice.
I made a choice 4 years ago to walk away from everything that I knew because it was not the path I was supposed to be on even though I wanted so badly to be on it. To have a future that was solidified and seemingly perfect, a simple beautiful life with the person I loved most in the world. But it wasn't perfect, I came to the realization that if I stayed in that life, in that world; I would always wonder what my life could have been. I would always want MORE. So in a heartbreaking decision, I walked away asking God why He would set me on a different path. It broke my heart in a way that I was sure that I would never recover, that I would never love someone the same way that I loved my first love. But God always has a plan and His timing is always perfect. I struggled with depression and anger for a long time after that, when you feel that you have nothing to look forward to. Days can seem pretty bleak. I knew things had to change in order to not feel hopeless. Art became an outlet for my sanity and lit a spark. And that spark burned.
So here I am 3 years later. I have made the most wonderful friendships, found acceptance and true friendship among my sorority sisters, am in a major that I love and that inspires me, dated a couple amazing and some not so amazing guys, moved out on my own, and am constantly loving my life no matter what it brings me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me at my worst even when I don't deserve it, who encourages me everyday to follow my dreams and will run out to Hyvee at midnight to get me a watermelon only out of love. I have three of the most wonderful people as my best friends, Shawna, Stef and Tiffany who have been there with me every step of the way, they are my soul mates, and I am forever thankful for these human beings who show me what true friendship really is.
What is this life?
It's mine. And every day that comes, I am reminded that love is bigger than the black hole of depression. That I can choose to seize joy every day even when it seems scarce. Life is a choice. Love is a choice. Joy is a choice.
The future is never how we imagined it, it is better. It is brighter. It is more than you could ever hope for.
Til next time,
Savanna
No, it was 3 years ago. 3 years.. how things have changed. How I have changed. They say people can't truly change, that they just simply reveal their true colors. I don't think that is wholly correct. I think people have a choice. A choice to be who they want to be, how they choose to act and react to life happening. You choose to change. You can choose to love and you can choose to hate. It boils down to a simple choice.
I made a choice 4 years ago to walk away from everything that I knew because it was not the path I was supposed to be on even though I wanted so badly to be on it. To have a future that was solidified and seemingly perfect, a simple beautiful life with the person I loved most in the world. But it wasn't perfect, I came to the realization that if I stayed in that life, in that world; I would always wonder what my life could have been. I would always want MORE. So in a heartbreaking decision, I walked away asking God why He would set me on a different path. It broke my heart in a way that I was sure that I would never recover, that I would never love someone the same way that I loved my first love. But God always has a plan and His timing is always perfect. I struggled with depression and anger for a long time after that, when you feel that you have nothing to look forward to. Days can seem pretty bleak. I knew things had to change in order to not feel hopeless. Art became an outlet for my sanity and lit a spark. And that spark burned.
So here I am 3 years later. I have made the most wonderful friendships, found acceptance and true friendship among my sorority sisters, am in a major that I love and that inspires me, dated a couple amazing and some not so amazing guys, moved out on my own, and am constantly loving my life no matter what it brings me.
I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me at my worst even when I don't deserve it, who encourages me everyday to follow my dreams and will run out to Hyvee at midnight to get me a watermelon only out of love. I have three of the most wonderful people as my best friends, Shawna, Stef and Tiffany who have been there with me every step of the way, they are my soul mates, and I am forever thankful for these human beings who show me what true friendship really is.
What is this life?
It's mine. And every day that comes, I am reminded that love is bigger than the black hole of depression. That I can choose to seize joy every day even when it seems scarce. Life is a choice. Love is a choice. Joy is a choice.
The future is never how we imagined it, it is better. It is brighter. It is more than you could ever hope for.
Til next time,
Savanna
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
2015
2015
So here we are in a brand new year with so many open possibilities. I figured it was time to revamp this blog and start making some new entries. So much has happened in the past few years, I don't even know where to begin.
But let's start with this, instead of making a resolution every new year. I always predict what the year will bring me and I have been dead on every single year.
2011: a year of change.
2012: a year of taking chances.
2013: a year of hope.
2014: a year of love.
And each year has brought me exactly what I needed and has pushed me to exactly where I need to be.
So what do I think 2015 will bring me?
A year of dreams..
Whether it's achieving new dreams or pursuing dreams or having dreams come true, I can feel the electric charge in the air with each new day I am blessed to have. I cannot tell you how I know or what will happen. Simply that I can feel it in my bones, there is a knowing deep within me and I can't explain it. All I can do is see how this year plays out.
I am entering into the homestretch in my college career, the finish line is in sight and I can tell I am not long for this place or this town. The end of the era is coming and a new one will begin after I graduate.
I am RESTLESS
I always get this feeling every time a big change is about to happen, and the next stage of my life falls into place. I guess you could call it intuition? Perhaps.
I have grown immensely from the broken hearted 19 year old I once was into the driven 22 year old I am today. I know who I am, I know what I want, and I will achieve it.
I look forward to everything 2015 holds for me with openness and great joy with all the possibilities it holds for me.
Til next time.
Savanna
So here we are in a brand new year with so many open possibilities. I figured it was time to revamp this blog and start making some new entries. So much has happened in the past few years, I don't even know where to begin.
But let's start with this, instead of making a resolution every new year. I always predict what the year will bring me and I have been dead on every single year.
2011: a year of change.
2012: a year of taking chances.
2013: a year of hope.
2014: a year of love.
And each year has brought me exactly what I needed and has pushed me to exactly where I need to be.
So what do I think 2015 will bring me?
A year of dreams..
Whether it's achieving new dreams or pursuing dreams or having dreams come true, I can feel the electric charge in the air with each new day I am blessed to have. I cannot tell you how I know or what will happen. Simply that I can feel it in my bones, there is a knowing deep within me and I can't explain it. All I can do is see how this year plays out.
I am entering into the homestretch in my college career, the finish line is in sight and I can tell I am not long for this place or this town. The end of the era is coming and a new one will begin after I graduate.
I am RESTLESS
I always get this feeling every time a big change is about to happen, and the next stage of my life falls into place. I guess you could call it intuition? Perhaps.
I have grown immensely from the broken hearted 19 year old I once was into the driven 22 year old I am today. I know who I am, I know what I want, and I will achieve it.
I look forward to everything 2015 holds for me with openness and great joy with all the possibilities it holds for me.
Til next time.
Savanna
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